Robot Wars: Extreme Destruction (Part 3)

Well, it's not all bad news. For example, the game fits on a single CD, so there's only so much bad in it to be bitched about. Although I could certainly go on much longer, today I'll be bursting two more bubbles of craptaculousness before squeezing the last bit out next week and hopefully screwing lid back on this shampoo bottle of disappointment VERY securely. (With possible encasing in lead and ejecting into space)

Information:
You're given a wide variety of choices when it comes to building your robot. Whether you want to chop, crush, saw, burn, zap, squeeze or just bump your opponent aggressively, there'll be a weapon for you. But alas there is little issue with the balance of these weapons. But before we get onto what these weapons do compared to each other, let us first investigate what the weapons actually do.

Now what hammer should I put on my bot?
There are so many choices. But luckily, the game features an information button which brings up a panel detailing the weapons details in detail. So what does this unfathomable pool of information have to say when I select the "hammer" and press info?

There's often little else than vague data which is less informative than just looking at the damn thing. Who needs to know how quickly the spiked mace strikes? What I really need to know is what the spikes are made out of! However, due to budget constraints, not every component could have a shakespearian epic written of the subtleties and variances written on it. So when you press the info button out desperation to have the slightest idea what the piece will do in the arena, you're often met with the lovely little message pictured to the left.

Would it have bankrupted the company to have just copied and pasted the name of the damn thing? There's little more detail in any of the other descriptions. They didn't even fix this sort of laziness in the patch they released for the game.

This isn't a super-secret piece of alien technology recovered from the ruins of atlantis that mysteriously destroys any hard copies of information gathered on it. It's a bar heater. A BAR HEATER.

Though to be fair, I still haven't figured out what either of the electrical weapons (bar heater and tazer) actually do. But that's probably due to the sloppy implementation and cryptic usage instruction for all the weapons. Which brings us nicely onto-

BEHOLD THE MYSTERIOUS OBJECT!

The money could have kept the balance, but when it's not included, the whole thing goes... well... out the window.

Balance and implementation:

There seems to be confusion about what balance is. Allow me to clarify. Balance is when a game supports multiple play styles, techniques, tactics or strategies in order to provide a well-rounded and more varied game play experience.

As each of the weapons has differing destructive abilities and costs to offset these, you'd assume that that's where the balance would come in, right? WRONG!

Not once have I even come close to running low on money whilst playing this game. So when you don't need to take into account the cost of the items, and the weight of the robot or components no longer is a factor (as it was in the first game) you'll find yourself rarely using any component other than the most expensive one you have unlocked in any particular category.

But what about balance between the various weapons types? Well, let's take a look at each one individually.

Spikes- Put them on every free slot your robot has which can't hold a lance or active weapon. Spikes will nearly always work to your advantage no matter what chassis or other weaponry your robot has.
Lances- Like spikes, but can only be put in certain weapon slots. Use these to fill any larger weapon slots not being occupied by active weaponry.
Axes- They can chop away armour, but won't scratch operational components or weaponry. You must, however, keep chopping away at an opponent with the axe whenever they are near you, (despite the fact that it won't do damage) or you will receive a score of 0 for aggression. This is the main deciding score when there are multiple robots active at the end of the match, which will usually happen as axes can't incapacitate and make it difficult to ring opponents out. USELESS!

It took 77 blows from the biggest mace to remove the armour from this wooden robot. USELESS.

Hammers- Pretty much just axes with a cosmetic bluntening. (oh, they hit slightly slower too.)
Maces- Strange there's no difference between hammers and axes, but maces (though almost identical in operation to hammers) function completely differently in RWED. If you happen to be going up against a petrol-driven robot (about one in ten) each hit will randomly activate or deactivate each of their drive motors.
Electrical- ATLANTIS WILL RISE AGAIN! HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA
Cutting Disks- All the uselessness of axes, in circular form with an irritating noise that loops even while the disk doesn't spin!
Fly Wheels- It may just be my technique, but you'd think that waiting until they're spinning as fast as possible then applying the pointy bits to the enemy would do some damage, wouldn't you?

Flamethrowers- The game developers did a fantastic job at bringing all the sheer power flamethrowers have in the robot wars TV show into the game. They're still useless!
Drills- Just like a lance, but if you don't hold down the attack button, it does no damage and prevents you from earning aggression points or pushing! USELESS!
Scoops- They're supposed to help you push others around, but they seem to have the reverse effect. Oh, and despite being completely static things, they use up an active weapon slot, and will make earning aggression harder! All the while making a horrible abrasive sound! HURRAH FOR SCOOPS! USELESS!
Saws- I haven't found a single setup which actually lets me apply these to any part of an enemy robot. When my robot has its front pressed hard up against an opponent, the chainsaw is about 40cm above it, giving the air particles a jolly good scare and giving them my aggression points to apologise.

These ice-cream scoops are at least four times the combatative value than the scoops found in Robot Wars PUT TOGETHER!